Studio Tracks

World of Noise

Your Genius Hands

I have seen you shake
And I know what it cost you
I have heard your words
I am big on your noise
My eyes aren't big enough
'Cause I can't see your hands
I can't see what you hold

I am growin' now
As I watch you fade
Now I know what you know
And I'll break the chains that you have made
This chain you've made for me
Yeah, I will pull you down
I know I'll fail in style
I long to touch your genius hands

I am growin' now
As I watch you fade
Now I know what you know
And I'll break the chains that you have made
This chain you've made for me
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will pull you down
I know I'll fail in style
I will, I swear
I'm gonna shake your genius hands

Sick & Tired

I break every day
Stressed out in every kind of way
I am sick and tired of bein' sick and tired
All I need and crave
Loud life with the power to fade
I am livin' 'cause I keep it all in, keep it all inside
Yeah, I keep it all in, keep it all inside
Yeah, I keep it all in, keep it all inside

Love don't work for me
I want women who are out of my reach
I am sick and tired of livin' all alone
All I need for sure
Big love with the power to make more
I am livin' 'cause I keep it all in, keep it all inside
Yeah, I keep it all in, keep it all inside
Yeah, I keep it all in, keep it all inside
I know I'm close to the fall
I know I'm dangerous
I'm afraid I'm going down

I blame my family
Their damage is livin' in me
I am sick inside and tired of my life
All I need, I swear
Go out with the power of a nightmare
I am livin' 'cause I keep it all in, keep it all inside
I keep it all in, keep it all inside
Yeah, I keep it all in, keep it all inside
I know I'm going to fall
I know I'm dangerous
I know I'm not going down alone

I keep it all in, keep it all inside
I keep it all in, keep it all inside
I know I'm close to the fall
I know I'm dangerous
I know I'm not going down alone
I'm not going down alone, I know

The Laughing World

Right now, day one, I fall soft
When I fall I always fall on you
Face first, head down, eyes closed
Arms out to break my fall, we fall down
Like a world of noise we get lost
Inside the length of our own time
And the laughing world will never forget
It's when you jam that I jet
I jet

I see, I want, I reach
I fail to hold the things that I need
I turn, I reach for you
Wanna touch our life before it fades
Like a burning car in the sun
We flame for the all in plain view
And the laughing world will never forget
It's when you jam that I jet
I jet, I jet, I jet...

And the laughing world will never forget
Laughing world will never forget
Laughing world will never forget
It's when you jam that I jet
I jet, I jet, I jet...

Fire Maple Song

Turn away from the pain you don't want
Turnin' down to avoid them when they call
Strange words I heard a long, long time ago
I wish I could go back to a summertime
I knew more than twenty years ago
Lay between the sheets
Lie underneath the maple tree
Now I can't smile

Lyin' down in the grass with the wind around us as we smile and talk
Listen to your grandma sing those country songs
She'd tell us how the maple turns to fire every four years
We'd lay in the grass all summer just to watch the autumn come around
I can't smile
I can't smile

Now I live alone
And you're so far away
Yeah, I call you every year
Just around the holidays
I still see you in the night
Lyin' above me in the grass
I can't smile

Turn away from the pain you don't want
Turnin' down to avoid them when they call
I can't believe this letter that says you died
I think I'm gonna go back the house in North Carolina
And lay in the back yard
Get drunk and let the leaves just bury me, bury me
I can't smile
I can't smile
I don't know what's happened to me
I don't know what's happened to me
I can't smile

Pennsylvania Is...

Jackson met a girl in a valley town
They fell into a teenage love she'd grow to hate
He's in prison now since he beat her down
He got her pregnant and she made it go away
Hey hey hey hey Pennsylvania

I got a card today from a girl I know
She used to live alone in Philadelphia
She had to leave the state for a choice she made
She says she feels just like a hostage in her home
Hey hey hey hey Pennsylvania

You can close your eyes, you can fall and die
You can hope your laws will make it go away
You can close your eyes but you can't make it go away

I just got a call from my uncle Mike
He said he left his wife and he's not going back
Said she changed her mind about a desire child
I asked him if he wants a place mat or a wife

Hey hey hey hey Pennsylvania is wrong!

Nervous & Weird

You know I want to be the way you want me to
Big hearted and tall enough to cover you
I would break in half if you said it loud
Splinter out of myself just like mercury
I think it's better now than how it used to be
You were lying in bed and I would levitate
I think it's better here than where we used to be
I wish I could go out into the Oregon sunů to be alive in the day
I'd smile at everyone

I remember you back in '83
You were dressing insane, you were my everything
You were so different from all those other girls
A blind Electra in drag, so cool and casually lame
I think I'm better now than how I used to be
Always nervous and weird, scared most of the time
I think it's better now than how it used to be
Always up in the night, afraid to live in the day
Afraid of being afraid

Now I sit alone when you're not around
I read aloud just to hear a friendly voice
I see you scary dolls, they all look at me
From the corner of my eye I see them shake their heads
You know I want to be the way you me to
Big hearted and tall enough to cover you

I wish I could go out just to be alive in the day

Malevolent

Maybe I went too far this time
I just go crazy when she says no
Angel turns away pulls her dress back down
Slowly washes her face
Takes the bus to her job downtown
She said, I'm OK, don't worry about me

Now she thinks for herself, hey what just happened to me?
I told him that I thought it was over, I told him that I wanted to leave
He used to touch me so nice when we first met
I never dreamed he would hit me, I never dreamed he would hold me down
She said, don't worry about me, I won't worry about you
I don't want to be friends
She said, I'm OK
Just leave me alone
She said don't worry about me, I won't worry about you
She said, I'm OK, don't worry about me
I don't want to be friends

Just leave me alone
Don't worry about me

Sparkle

I remember when you seemed real shiny with the sweat of your voice
Shaky hands super loud and teenage mouth
We were all charmed and taken with your talk
Now I shudder when I hear the rhythm of your walk
Now I've got no place to go, I've got no place to go
I've got no one, nowhere, no one
I have given up on the sparkle that I saw in you

I have sinned the sin of wanting more
The belly fire pulls the spirit from the corporate whore
I'm embarrassed by the plaid you wear
If I were you I'd hide behind that stupid bleach blonde hair
Now I've got no place to go, I've got no place to go
I've got no one, nowhere, no one
I have given up on the sparkle that I saw in you
Yeah that simple minded sparkle that I thought I saw

Yes I have wondered why you changed
I liked it when you were super loud

I wonder if you're giving in, tell me why you're giving in

Trust Fund

I know a couple who are in love living in the best of times
A truer-blue love you will never know
Run from pain they'll never realize
Sheltered from it in a loving glow
Young and happy and oh-so politically correct
Just get it if you need it now
Just buy it if you need it in your life
Don't you worry if it all runs out
Don't worry 'cause it never will

I know a young girl living in the shadow of
The kind of life that she could never make
She takes it all and gives it back in love
To handsome artists in her native state
She is the angel of the loser and the disenchanted soul
Just get it if you need it now
Just buy it if it makes you happy
Don't you worry if it all runs out
Don't worry because it never will

I know a couple who are in love living in the best of times

Loser Makes Good

I hate waking up, it means that I have to die again tonight
35 years old and I'm still sleeping outside
Yeah I think I know your face, I don't want to know your name
I won't give in, I'm not like that, I won't give in

You say it's Christmas Eve, that don't mean nothing to me
Just another fucked up day, just another waste of time
You wonder why I live like this, man you just won't understand
I won't give in, I'm not like that, I won't give in

You smart-ass college fuck
Act like you think you're tall
I was just like you
More pride than you could know
You think you pity me
Hey I'll kick your ass if you pity me
I won't give in, I'm not like that
No I won't give in to you

You college boy act like you think you're tall
I won't give in, I'm not like that
I won't give in

Invisible

I will live, I will live
Maybe for a year or two, maybe for a year
I will die, I will die, I can rest secure in that
I am awful sure that this thing ain't no accident
And I just can't believe that AIDS is just some act of God

I will reach for you, I will reach my hand
No one will reach for me, no one will touch my skin
Yes I will accept, I will accept my pain
I don't deserve to die like this, no one deserves to die like this
Sometimes I get so mad I just want to break the world

I will not be denied, I will not be ignored
I'm not invisible anymore
I will not be denied, I will not be ignored
I'm real, I won't go away
I am not invisible anymore
Sometimes I get so mad I just want to break the world

Evergleam

Evergleam and I know why God is good and Jesus loves me
Heaven lives and I know where
Sounds to me a not so easy chair
Falling free and living down
Stringing out and over happy
Evergleam and I know why it isn't real and I'm not going to break
Don't die, don't give in, no way no way...
Please don't leave me

Evergleam and I know how pulling hair and breaking voices
Giving in won't stop the noise
Spinning wills don't give you choices
Take away the spark inside, you take away the shining prize
Evergleam and I know how it isn't real and I'm not going to break
I'm not going to break

Evergleam, everywhere, ever weird, everyone...

I'm not going away, I'm not going away...
I won't see you there
I'm not going away, I'm not going to break...

No way

 

Sparkle and Fade

Electra Made Me Blind

Shake that dust from the small town
I turn and follow the western wind down
Go and pack up my shiny things
And go, yeah just go

I'll find a new life in only LA
Yeah, stupid happy with everything
I pulled myself down so easily
I know, I know...

Met Electra when livin' down
Saw her spinnin' around and around
Never knew much about her past
I knew enough that I didn't ask
I know, I know...

Livin' isn't a simple thing, I know
No one said it's supposed to be, I know
Livin' isn't a simple thing, I know
No one said it's supposed to be
I know, I know

Livin' isn't a simple thing, I know
No one said it's supposed to be, I know
Livin' isn't a simple thing for me
I know ways to make it easier
I know

July she lied, July she lied...
July, July, July

Livin' isn't a simple thing, I know
No one said it's supposed to be
Livin' isn't a simple thing for me
I know ways to make it easier

Heroin Girl

I used to know a girl
She had two pierced nipples and a black tattoo
We'd drink that Mexican beer
We'd live on Mexican food
Yes, I wish I could go back
Yes, back in time

Esther used to be the kind of girl that you would never leave
She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease
She'd do anything
I can hear them talking in the real world
But they don't understand that I'm happy in hell
With my Heroin Girl

I am losing myself in a white-trash hell
Lost inside a Heroin girl

They found her out in the fields
About a mile from home
Her face was warm from the sun
But her body was cold
I heard the policeman say
Just another overdose
Just another overdose!

Esther used to be the kind of lover you would never leave
She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease
She would do anything

You Make Me Feel Like a Whore

I take your word like it was gospel, I'm so eager to please
Yeah I like it when you talk to me
It feels so good inside your shadow, it's the place I need to be
Yeah you know I need to climb you like a tree
There is this place inside where all the good things die
Sometimes I feel like a whore

I hate the way I am around you, I'm so nervous and weird
Sometimes I feel like I'm breathing underwater
You treat me like I am on fire, like I'm something to eat
You make me hate what I see when I see me
Yeah I dream of the day when I learn how to make you pay
Someday I'll teach you to beg, someday, someday
Yes I live for the day when I can hear you say
You make me feel like a whore

Yes I dream of the time when I can make you mine
Maybe then I'll feel half alive, more alive, so alive
There is this place inside where all the good things die
You make me feel like a whore

Santa Monica

I am still livin' with your ghost
Lonely and dreamin' of the west coast
I don't wanna be your downtime
I don't wanna be your stupid game

With my big black boots and an old suitcase
I do believe I'll find myself a new place
I don't wanna be the bad guy
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore
I just wanna see some palm trees
I will try and shake away this disease

We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die
We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die

I am still dreamin' of your face
Hungry and hollow for all the things you took away
I don't wanna be your good time
I don't wanna be your fallback crutch anymore

Walk right out into a brand new day
Insane and risin' in my own weird way
I don't wanna be the bad guy
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore
I just wanna feel some sunshine
I just wanna find some place to be alone

chorus

chorus

Yeah watch the world die

Summerland

Let's just drive your car
We could drive all day
Let's just get the hell away from here
For I am sick again
Just plain sick to death
Of the sound of my own voice
We could leave behind another wasted year
Get some cheap red wine and just go flying

We could do the things,
All the things you wanted to
No one cares about us anyway

I think I lost my smile
I think you lost yours too
We have lost the power to make each other laugh
Let's just leave this place
And go to Summerland
Just a name on the map
Sounds like heaven to me

We could find a town
Be just how we want to be
No one here really cares about us anyway
We could find a place
Make it what we want it to be
No one really gives a fuck about us anyway
We could live just like we want to live
No one here really cares about us anyway
We could be everything we want to be
We could get lost in the Fall
Glimmer Sparkle and Fade
The Sparkle and Fade
Fall Glimmer Sparkle and Fade

Forget about our jobs at the record store
Forget about all the losers that we know
Forget about all the memories that keep you down
Forget about them
We could lose them in the Sparkle and Fade
We could leave them behind in the Sparkle and Fade
Yeah Sparkle and Fade
Fall Glimmer Sparkle and Fade

Strawberry

Never been here, never coming back
Never want to think about the things
That happened today
Want to lay down on the warm ground
I think I'm going to need a little time to myself

Don't fall down now
You will never get up
Don't fall down now

I ask you for a slow ride
Going nowhere
You look like Satan
You ask me if I want to get high
Couple of bags down in old town
You tie your arm and
Ask me if I wanted to drive

Don't fall down now
You will never get up
Don't fall down now

Last thing I recall
I was in the air
I woke up on the street
Crawling with my strawberry burns
Ten long years in a straight line
They fall like water
Yes, I guess I fucked up again

Don't fall down now
You will never get up
Don't fall down now

Heartspark Dollarsign

Time stops when the whispers blare
The voices drop hard, but the eyes still stare
The world resolves into a death's head grin
Because I walk with pride with a black girlfriend

My mom said not to bring her around
'Cause she's black my family would put her down
I'll break the white-trash ties that bind
Trade a love so pure for a hate so blind

She said, she said
Forget the fact that I don't look like you
She said, she said
You're possessed with a power
Bigger than the pain

Time stops when we lie so close
In my room where we share what no one knows
From the day that we start
Until the day that we end
I know I know I know now
We will never find a place where we can just fit in

Me and my black girlfriend

She said, she said
Fend for yourself, you're alone
She said, she said
You are possessed with a power
Bigger than the pain

A power bigger than the pain

Heartspark Dollarsign

The Twistinside

We have been sleeping with the lights on
Just about every night
Because we are afraid of what the dark might bring
I know, I know it's just a childish fear
That grows and grows wild in the middle of me

I'm gonna get a new tattoo
Black and stretching around my arm
Like a life that is visible and real
I know, I know it's stupid and immature
I just want to give shape to the face
That twists inside both you and me

Breathing fire doesn't look good on a resume
Neither does anything else we do
We got to get ready for the real world
Yeah yeah we got to grow up

You know I like to die for awhile
Everyday in the afternoon
I like to let the arms of a bar wrap around me tight
I'm just going to sprawl in the front booth
Big drink above my head
Cross eyes and smiling as I watch the world go twisting by

I don't want to die with you,
Or live in the same dark room
I don't want to see your bloodshot eyes no more, no more
I just want to take this girl
all curls and big brown eyes
Man I can't take the pain of wanting her, needing her

I know the secret of your soul
And I just don't want to know
Yeah, man we got to grow up

Her Brand New Skin

She is everywhere I am
Yeah when I don't want her to be there
I kinda want to leave in a hurry
She's walking on the city
Heavy in her monster boots

I hear her calling my name
I hide behind the people that I want to be
I hear her calling my name
I can see the future when she tells me how it's going to be

She is perpetual Kathy
All shake and happy in her brand new skin
She is perpetual Kathy
She is always the same

She is everything that I'm not
Strong and happy with the sound of the rhythm inside
I do not want to be a broken record,
But I don't want to live in the shadow of a twelve-step

I hear her calling my name
Next thing you know I think I'll want to be a better man
I hear her calling my name
Yeah, I used to be a devil but they never seemed to give a damn

chorus

Nehalem

There is this rumor about
They say you're leaving Nehalem
Ever since our baby died
You've been seen with another guy
The whole damn town is talking now
They say you're leaving Nehalem

Hey don't you want me to go?
Hey don't you want me?

They say you're losing your mind
They say you're leaving Nehalem
You know how the bad words get around
Big noise in a hard small town

Tell me if you want me to go
Just tell me if you want me

They say you're leaving Nehalem
They say you're leaving me

Yeah, I know you need to break away
I don't give a fuck about what those people say
I hope you find everywhere you go
All the good things that you need to know

They say you're losing your mind
They say you're leaving Nehalem
There is this rumor out
They say you're leaving Nehalem
They say you're leaving me
They say you're leaving Nehalem
I know you're leaving me
I know you're leaving Nehalem
I know you're leaving me

Queen of the Air

There is a dream I used to have
My dream swallowed me whole
There is a bridge where I hate to go
That is where I first saw her
High on the bridge I seen her red hair shining

There is a girl I never knew
She was my Aunt Virginia
They said that she, she just disappeared
They said I look just like her

High on the bridge I seen her dancing, waving to me there
She smiled and raised her head
Then she took to the Air

There is a dream I can't escape
My memories come back to me
There is a hell I can't escape
My memories come back to me

I heard the truth about it
Pictures and headlines hidden away
I heard the truth about my real mom
Jumping from the bridge that day

Now I know why ever since I was 3 years old
Been having the same nightmare
Now I know the truth about Virginia
Why she took to the air

Pale Green Stars

Amanda is in love with the sight of the moon
She's got pale green stars in her room
Right above her bed

Put them on the ceiling
Leave on the light
When the sun goes down then the stars might shine
Shining in the dark

Skinny little girl in her room alone
She's got hell to spare in her home
If you can call it a home

Doesn't want to be like anybody else
When no one is around she talks to herself
I can hear her in the night

Hey, hey yeah
It's hard on a girl
When the blood won't come when it ought to come
It's hard on a girl
When you try to walk around on the shaky ground

Hey, hey
Daddy's going away

Scared little girl watching Aladdin on TV
Amanda always cries when you yell at me
Yeah, please don't yell at me

Climb up all the stairs
Close the door
Doesn't want to hear us fighting anymore
Yeah, better call it a day

Hey, hey yeah
It's hard on a young girl
She thinks it's all her fault when it all goes wrong
It's hard on a grown man too
See my baby crying at the window calling out my name

Hey, hey
Daddy's going away

She's got pale green stars in her room

Chemical Smile

She lost her focus yesterday
She lost her focus in the sun
She sits and stares at it for hours

She says she likes to go outside
She gets hung up on the wind
She gets lost inside the happy noise

Sometimes I don't understand her
Sometimes I don't want to understand her

She says no, no, no, no, no, no
She don't want no double life
She says I should know why

She seems happier at night
Her color TV and her chemical smile
I don't wanna know the reason
I don't wanna know the reason
I don't wanna know the reason why

She says, she says, she says, she says, she says
Jesus owes her money
She says, she says, she says, she says, she says
The angels are her friends
What the hell does that mean?

She's got the chemical smile
Yeah she's got a chemical smile
Yeah she's got the chemical smile
Baby's got a chemical smile

She says, she says...

My Sexual Life

People you know try to tell you things
Bad things that you don't want to know about
Tell you tomorrow what you did today
Just remember, it's a small town
It's a real small town

She gets tired of all the stupid boys
She can't wait until they're done
She wants a man who can take his time
She wants someone who can make her come
Yeah, can you make me come

You always say you want a simple life
You and me both know that you are a liar
You always say you want a simple life
Hearing you talk just makes me tired

Swim in the heavy water
Buried in the sand
Happy hearts fall from my shaky hands
I can't hide my sexual life

He always says he wants to find a special one
But you watch his head go spinning around
He really wants anyone who'll give it up
He seems to forget he's in a small town

You always say you never fuck around
You say this town is just plain full of liars

Yeah you always say you never fuck around
Hey, hearing you talk just makes me tired

Swimming in the heavy water
Buried in the sand
Happy hearts fall from my stupid hands
I can't hide my sexual life

My Sexual Life

 

So Much for the Afterglow

So Much for the Afterglow

This is a song about Susan
This is a song about the girl next door
This is a song about the everyday occurrences that make you feel like letting go
Yes I think we've got a problem
So much for the afterglow

This is a song about Susan
This is a song about the way things are
This is a song about the scary things you see from the corner of your eyes
Don't you wonder why?

We never talk about the future
We never talk about the past anymore
We never ask ourselves the questions to the answers that nobody even wants to know
I guess the honeymoon is over
So much for the afterglow

I remember we could talk about anything
I remember when we used to want to hang out

We never talk about the future
We never talk about the past anymore
We never ask ourselves the questions to the answers that nobody even wants to know

Oh well oh well oh well
So much for the afterglow
Oh well oh well oh well
Yes I guess we need the drama
So much for the afterglow

Everything to Everyone

You put yourself in stupid places
Yes I think you know it's true
Situations where it's easy to look down on you
I think you like to be the victim
I think you like o be in pain
I think you make yourself a victim almost every single day

You do what you do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone
You know all the right people
You play all the right games
You always try to be everything to everyone

Yeah you do it again
You always do it again

You say they taught you to read and write
Yeah they taught you how to count
I say they thought you how to buy and sell your own body by the pound
I think you like to be their simple toy
I think you love to play the clown
I think you are blind to the fact that the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down

chorus

Spin around and fall down
Do it again
You stumble and fall
Yeah why don't you ever learn
Spin around and fall down
Do it again
You stumble and you fall
I wonder if you will ever learn
Yeah why won't you ever learn
Come on now
Do that stupid dance for me

You do what you do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone
You jump through the big hoop
You play all the right games
You try to be everything to everyone

Spin around and fall down
Do it again
You stumble and you fall
Yeah you do it again
Spin around and fall down
Do it again
You stumble and you fall

Ataraxia (Media Intro)

"Today, medical science recognizes
That some folks aren't helped by relaxing exercises.
In cases of difficult tension,
And nervous apprehension,
Doctors are now prescribing medicine.
It makes those who fear they're about to quit
Feel like they're ready to begin.
Bidding their darkened spirits goodbye
For the calming peace of a cloudless sky."

Normal Like You

Yeah they said you called me maybe yesterday
I don't even have the strength to pick up the phone
You wouldn't even know me since you went away
The Prozac doesn't do it for me anymore
Yeah you ought to take your medication every day
Be a good dog, live life in a wonderful way

Tell me why you want to be blind
I don't want to be normal like you
I know now every day
I get closer to the place inside
Where I can be normal too

I heard those stupid people talk about you again
I just have to laugh to keep from hurting bad
Their simple minds just cannot seem to understand
You are neurotic and depressed
It doesn't mean that you're sad
You walk around oblivious to everything
You wear that party dress, black mascara
Like you're queen for the day

chorus

I will never be normal like you

You walk around oblivious to everyone
I see you walking slow and simple underneath the big black sun

Tell me why you want to be blind
I don't want to be normal like you
I know now every day
I get closer to the place inside
Where I can be complacent
I get closer to the place inside
Where I can be sedated
Yes I get closer to the place inside
Where I can be normal too, I can be normal too
I can be normal like you

I Will Buy You a New Life

Here is the money that I owe you
So you can pay the bills
I will give you more when I get paid again
I hate those people who love to tell you
Money is the root of all that kills
They have never been poor
They have never had the joy of a welfare Christmas

I know we will never look back

You say you wake up crying
Yes and you don't know why
You get up and you go lay down inside my baby's room
I guess I'm doing okay
I moved in with the strangest guy
Can you believe he actually thinks that I am really alive

I will buy you a garden where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car, perfect shiny and new
I will buy you that big house way up in the west hills
I will buy you a new life
Yes I will

I know all about that other guy
The handsome man with athletic thighs
I know about all the times before
With that obsessive little rich boy
They might think you're happy
Yeah maybe for a minute or two
They can't make you laugh
No they can't make you feel the way that I do

chorus

I know we can never look back
Will you please let me stay the night
No one will ever know

chorus

Father of Mine

Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
You know I just closed my eyes
My whole world disappeared
Father of mine
Take me back to the day
When I was still your golden boy
Back before you went away
I remember the blue skies, walking the block
I loved it when you held me high
I loved to hear you talk
You would take me to the movie
You would take me to the beach
Take me to a place inside that is so hard to reach

Father of mine
Tell me where did you go
You had the world inside your hand
But you did not seem to know
Father of mine
Tell me what do you see
When you look back at your wasted life and you don't see me
I was ten years old
Doing all that I could
It wasn't easy for me to be a scared white boy in a black neighborhood
Sometimes you would send me a birthday card
With a five dollar bill
I never understood you then and I guess I never will

Daddy gave me a name
My dad he gave me a name
Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My dad gave me a name

Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
I just closed my eyes
And the world disappeared
Father of mine
Tell me how do you sleep
With the children you abandoned
And the wife I saw you beat

I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame
Now I am a grown man
With a child of my own
And I swear I'm not going to let her know
All the pain I have known

Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My dad gave me a name
Then he walked away

One Hit Wonder

Loopy says he likes it up on top
Yes he knows if he ever lets go
The pretty machine will swallow him whole
He has no fear
He has no sense of shame
He will not stop until everybody everywhere wants to know his name

The one hit wonder
He likes the big time
He says he wants to live the kind of life
That will make the folks back home all bitch and whine
He knows if he ever even gets the chance
He'd sell his soul to make the monster dance
They can't hurt you unless you let them

Loopy says he sure does like the good life
Yes he knows all those women who scheme
Are just pretty pictures in the pretty machine
He knows if he ever even gets to try
He will bite down hard to make the monster cry
He knows if he ever even gets a chance
He'd sell his soul to make the monster dance
They can't hurt you unless you let them
I will say it again
They cannot hurt you unless you let them

Loopy says he likes it up on top
He prays to god and he hopes like hell
That the pretty machine
They will never fail
He has no fear
He doesn't really even have the time
He knows that the world is in love
With the pretty machine

The one hit wonder
He likes the big time
He wants to live the kind of life
That will make the folks back home scream, bitch, and whine
He knows if he ever even gets to try
He will bite down hard to make the monster cry
He knows if he ever even gets a chance
He'd sell his soul to make the monster dance
He knows if he ever even gets to play
He will stomp like god to make the monster say
They can't hurt you unless you let them
They cannot hurt you unless you let them

El Distorto De Melodica (instrumental)

Haha, there are no words to El Distorto De Melodica.  So if you came here by way of the link on the top of this section you are a dumbass!

Amphetamine

She came out west to find the sun
She lost her name but found a new one
Amy goes to school all day
But at night in the neighborhood they call her Amphetamine

She is perfect in that fucked up way
That all the magazines seem to want to glorify these days
She looks like a teenage anthem
She looks like she used to be happy with the girl inside
She looks so bored sometimes
And she has that super pale skin and those soft green eyes
She looks like she could have been happy in a better life
She came out west just to break away clean
From her family and her friends and a little girl's dream
All she wants to do every night
Is to sit beside my window and listen to the sirens
She is perfect in that fucked up way
That all the magazines seem to want to glorify these days
She looks like a teenage anthem
And she looks like she should have been happy in another life
In another life

She came out west just to break the spell
After three long years in a marriage from hell
Six months clean living sober and right
Her doctors tell her everything will be alright
Yeah, you just take your pill
And everything will be alright
She looks like a teenage anthem
She looks like a magazine girl
She looks like a teenage anthem
Like she used to be happy in another world
She looks like a teenage anthem
She is happy with the girl inside
She looks like a teenage anthem
And looks like she could have been happy in another life
In another life
Happy in another life

Met her at a party and I took her home
She is the saddest girl that I have ever known
She wakes up in the middle of the night
Just to tell me everything will be alright
Amy smiles at me and tells me everything will be alright
I tell myself the same damn thing
Everyday
Everything will be alright

White Men in Black Suits

I am just a boy working in a record store
Yes I moved to San Francisco just to see what I could be
I am a loser geek, crazy with an evil streak
Yes I do believe there is a violent thing inside of me
She is just a girl, she is doing what she can
She dances topless
When she's not playing in her band
Such a pretty girl, happy in an ugly place
Watching all the pretty people do lots of ugly things

I think it's getting better for the two of us
Yes I think it's getting better almost everyday
I could give a damn for what those people say

All I want to do is lose myself in your room
All you want is just a slow fuck in the afternoon
I still see those scary guys when I am all alone at night
I kiss the ring you gave me then I swing with all my might

I think it's getting better for the two of us
I think it's getting easier for you and me to agree
That the white men in black suits
They are diminishing
Yes I think they are diminishing
Yes I think that they diminish you, and they diminish me
I think they are diminishing
You know sometimes I hear those people say

Yeah she takes a bus
Over to the north side of the city
She goes to work stripping for the rich white men
All the words they give her
Make her feel so soft and pretty
She wears them but they never seem to fit

Yes I think it's getting better for the two of us
Yes I think it's getting better in the worst way
I refuse to be afraid of almost anyone
Afraid of all the things they do, all the words that they say
Let's live the way we want to live and hope they go away

I really hope they go away
I really hope they find a nice place
I hope they find it somewhere
I hope they go away
I can still hear all those people say

Sunflowers

I know where you go when you want to fall
Why do you want to be broken?
I know where you go when you want to fall
Yes your friends they tell me everything
Yes I know where you go
Yes I know what you do
Yes I know the awful things you say and who you say them to
Yes I know where you go
Yes I know what you do

I know how you feel, you get crazy inside
They say it runs in the family
I know just how you feel when you get crazy inside
Your mom she said that you are just like me
I can see it in your eyes
I can see your shaky hands
Yes I think you think I'm stupid
You don't think I understand
Yes I see you and I see myself when I was a younger man

When you were a child
You were happy and free
You were my reason to live
I would die when you smiled at me
I can still see you
I remember you painting
Sunflowers in your room

I know where you go when you want to fall
Hey don't you want to be happy?
I know where you go when you want to fall
Your useless friends, they tell me everything
Everything
I see you run around in circles
I see you digging your own hole
I see you fight the fights you just can't win
I see you losing self control
What it does to me deep down inside I hope you will never know

When you were a child
You were happy and free
You were my reason to live
I would die when you smiled at me
I can still see you
Painting flowers on the wall
I remember you happy
I remember it all

chorus

All I want to remember
Pretty pictures on the wall
I remember you happy
I remember it all
All I want to remember
Sunflowers in your room

Why I Don't Believe in God

I heard the truth about you
And it really doesn't read at all
Like the whipping stick you raised me with
A scared woman in a private hell
Hushed voice like electric bell
Strange talk about Edgar Cayce and the long lame walk of the dark 70's
Strange talk about Edgar Cayce and the long lame walk of the dark 70's

I heard the truth about you
Yeah you
Mama they woke me up
I was deep in an idiot sleep
I was just eight years old
Heard big words with a horrible sound
Why'd they have to call my school
Tell me my mother had a nervous breakdown

I wish I believed like you do
Yeah you
In the myth of a merciful god
In the myth of a heaven and hell
I hear the voices you hear sometimes
Sometimes it gets so much I feel like letting go
Sometimes it gets so hard I feel like letting go
Sometimes it gets so goddamn hard I feel like letting it all go
Letting it all go

I ran away, went looking for you
Back to Culver City and the old neighborhood
Need to know if you were really gone
Need to know if you were gone for good
I ran through the projects at night
Hide in the dark from my friends in the light
Hide from my brother-in-law
Hide from the things he'd say
Said you weren't losing your mind
He said you just needed a rest
He said you'd be coming home soon
He said the doctors there would know what's best
Said that maybe I could go live with them for a while

I know the truth about you
I know the truth

Mama they woke me up
I was just eight years old
Sometimes it gets so hard I feel like letting it go
Sometimes it gets so hard I feel like letting it go
Letting it all go

Like a California King

I see you have made yourself a brand new life
Such a cool blue star with a bright new shine
I see you wear your checkered past just like a shining suit of gold
I know you think you look so special

I am told you have found yourself a brand new time
Watch the world stand still as the years go by
I know you think you are so new and different
But it makes no sense to me
There is nothing new about you
Just another self-made man
There is nothing new that I can see
Enjoy it while you can
I know you think you look so special
What makes you think you are so special?
What makes you think you are unique?
I see you smile and I get angry
As I watch you go colossal
Like a California King

("All these Californians, coming up here and changing everything; they're just a bunch of carpetbaggers and I wish they'd all just go--")

Go!
I hear you gave the world a brand new voice
Such a happy melody with a new wave whine
Yeah I see you hide behind your own noise
I think I've seen enough

I will find you in the crowded room
I will knock you off your feet
I will burn you just like teenage love
I will eat you just like meat
I will break you into pieces
Hold you up for all the world to see
What makes you think you're better than me?
What makes you think you're better?
What makes you think you are complete?
What makes you think you are the only one immune to falling down
Why can't you see
I see you fall and I get happy
I will watch you burn like fire
I will watch you burn like a California King

Hating You for Christmas

Thanks for the Christmas card
I don't want to hear about your new job now
I don't want to hear about your new boyfriend
I don't want to hear about it all working out for you
No, I don't want to hear it now

I don't want to hear about your swinging new place
I don't want to hear how everyone thinks it's great
I just want to sit in our apartment and hate you
Yes, I will be hating you for Christmas

You can have the Christmas tree
Remember when we bought it at the store down the street?
Remember when I found that cheesy color wheel?
I don't want to think about the lights on your white skin
No, I don't want to think about it

I don't want to think about last year at your dad's
You said it was the best sex that we both ever had
I don't want to think about my face in your soft hair
I will be hating you for Christmas...

I must be losing my mind
There's gotta be a better way to deal with the pain
There's gotta be a better way to deal with the hate
Wish that I could find some way to make you go away
Wish that I could have a drink and make you fade
I wish that I could have myself a drink and make you fade
I wish that I could have a drink and make you go away
Yeah make you go away
Wish that I could make you go away
I will be hating you for Christmas
Yeah I will be hating you for Christmas...

Thanks for the Christmas card